Died By Suicide: Peg Entwistle

Actress Peg Entwistle died by suicide in September 1932. Her lifeless body was discovered September 18, 1932 beneath the famous Hollywoodland sign (later shortened to Hollywood). The talented stage and film actress jumped from the top of the letter H to her death. She was just 24 years old.

Although her tragic status as the Hollywood sign suicide will likely last at least as long as the sign itself remains standing, I think Entwistle's legacy as an actress shines brighter. In "The Girl Who Walked Home Alone: Bette Davis, a Personal Biography," author Charlotte Chandler quotes the iconic actress, Bette Davis, recalling Entwistle's influence in her life. Davis explained how a stage performance by Entwistle led the then 18-year-old Bette to know she had to become an actress. Imagine being the inspiration for someone who becomes a legend in your shared profession.  

Many speculate her suicide was the result of her failing to make it big in Hollywood. She'd acted in just one movie, "Thirteen Women," which was released after her death. However, James Zeruk, Jr., writes in his biography of Entwistle, "Peg Entwistle and the Hollywood Sign Suicide: A Biography," that the actress never aspired to be a film star. The Broadway performer's intention was always to return to theater. While her career likely took its toll, Zeruk believes depression played the leading role in Peg's suicide.

Learn more about Peg Entwistle:

• Peg Entwistle and the Hollywood Sign Suicide: A Biography, James Zeruk, Jr.
• Death in Hollywood: The Peg Entwistle Story 
• Death by Hollywood: Fallen Broadway star Peg Entwistle's suicide 

"I am afraid I am a coward. I am sorry for everything. If I had done this a long time ago it would have saved a lot of pain. P.E." Rest in Peace, Peg

Suicide in Art: Manet

Le Suicide, 1887 by Edouard Manet 

http://www.manet.org/le-suicide.jsp

Suicide vs Self Injury

To date, I've never attempted suicide. I've given it a lot of thought though. A lot. I've been so depressed I felt like I was going to die -as if my body was just going to stop being alive. Twice I scribbled out an unofficial Last Will & Testament because I didn't think I'd live through the night; I was in so much physical and mental anguish. However, I've never actively tried to end my life. (Well, at least not abruptly. I'll get to that in a minute.)

I do have quite an extensive history with self injury, sadly. Perhaps a couple of my self-inflicted injuries have been recorded as suicide attempts. But, truthfully, I've never tried to kill myself. I cut my wrist when I was 14. Just barely. It was the proverbial cry for help. During my teen years, I overdosed on medications, like allergy medicine, and actually threw up while driving -ironically- to an appointment with my psychologist. (I told him it was the flu.) A couple times, I sat in the garage of my parents' house with the door down and the car running. I'd sit there until my head hurt. (I think that's how I screwed up the gas gauge?!) 

When I was 19, I overdosed on Extra Strength Tylenol (acetaminophen). I was a college student still living at home. My mom learned what I'd done, and I was taken to the emergency room, admitted for a few days and then hauled of to the psych ward for a few more days. According to the National Institutes of Health, taking more than 7000mg of acetaminophen* daily can lead to a severe overdose potentially resulting in liver failure and death. I took 9500mg. I swallowed one pill for every year of life. I don't know how much it takes to cause death... likely a lot more than I took. I wasn't trying to kill myself though. It was just an odd method of self injury.

Now about that not attempting to die by suicide abruptly. I'm morbidly obese and inactive. My primary care physician warned me that my weight is going to take decades off my life. I think he was trying to scare me into losing weight. However, I was thinking... good. There's something comforting knowing my weight is killing me. I'm ambivalent about it though. I don't like being this fat. I don't like the aches and pains it causes. I don't like how it restricts my ability to move. I don't like how it slows me down and robs me of energy. I don't like how it looks or feels. I don't like how I'm treated by others and reduced to tears by fat shaming. I don't like the inability to play with my nephew. But, it's morbidly comforting knowing this fat is killing me.  

* The daily dose is no more than 4000mg of acetaminophen. Elsewhere on the site, it states maximum daily dose is 3000mg for Extra Strength Tylenol. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE be careful when taking acetaminophen -even taking it as directed! Over time it can cause problems. Liver failure sucks.

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